Sometimes, just as people begin to notice how well they are doing, something seems to come up to prevent them from believing they can change, or so it can seem. Does this sound like you? Then read on.
When focusing on how you can manage your lifestyle more efficiently, it is really good to have the answers on how to do that ‘managing’ more easily. The change you experience when working towards experiences you want to have and away from from those you don’t, can shape you into a more precise person in terms of how you choose the life you want.
One of the main things many people are aware of when they start thinking about solutions and how to choose them, is the feeling of dissatisfaction when they think about the problem issue they are trying to solve.
I ask people to ask themselves the following questions…
What is it about the solution that will help you feel better about what you want to achieve?
What is it about the idea of having that issue solved that will help you find happiness and joy?
Is it the idea of being able to focus more clearly on the life you want?
Can there be other reasons why you want to achieve what you want?
Gaining a perspective on how this works to enable them to function more precisely may help to give them the edge on good reasons to change their life and keep the change – permanently.
Forgetting about the fact that you don’t have what it takes to succeed is one way to empower your mind to believe that change is possible. Our memories enforce our beliefs about what’s possible based on past events and experiences. So what if you have never realised a successful event or had an experience where you achieved a planned outcome? Well, I would say that this idea is pretty much impossible due to the fact that you were born. I’d call that a success, wouldn’t you? Try thinking about a time when you weren’t able to walk as a baby. Can’t remember? Good! That’s what I am talking about. You learned to walk through sheer determination and overcame obstacles that prevented you from believing you could not do it. And here you are today, walking as if it had never been any different. I rest my case.
A baby does not believe that he cannot walk
So before we go any further, I first want to introduce you to the idea that change can come naturally.
In the first instance, the change that creates learning will emphasize the areas that need to be paid attention to. If you can’t run, for example, the change that needs to happen is that you develop your fitness to the extent that you can run easily. So this idea is transient in nature, suggesting that progressive, forward thinking steps engage the learner in creating new neural pathways for successful behavior change. This is the ultimate ‘meta-program’ in that it enhances the direction of change for the mutual benefit of its creator, as well as helping them be more successful in the future. So for change to happen naturally, there often needs to be some process that generates a novelty experience together with a capability that is internally driven. In order for this to happen there needs to be an environment that allows this process to occur naturally.
One idea that springs to mind is that of being able to envelop a process for being ‘all you need’ to be in order to gain awareness of the elements that drive change through. People can listen and change, but long-lasting change is at the mercy of being able to hold the vision firmly in their grasp until it becomes what they naturally do. However, having said that, change will happen when the time is right and when the circumstances allow it to happen. So what are the circumstances?
The circumstances that promote change to happen can create a vacuum that enhances the process such as dissatisfaction, desire or other need. Many people come to me when they are at their wits end and can no longer bear the circumstances in which they are suffering. Motivation can be high, but ability can be low due to not knowing what to do next. The NLPer can provide feedback as to how this issue can be resolved and design a process, or processes specifically for engaging the ‘learner’ in his/her new skill.
Once all circumstances have been achieved to allow the learner to engage with the process, change become pretty easy and fun! It’s fun because learning is creating new neural pathways in the direction of desired outcomes and enjoyment comes from seeing the person change in response to the old outcome. New outcomes are tried and tested in experience before deciding which of these are going to create the most impact on their psyche.
What answers would you come up with if you were to ask yourself the following questions in order to create the right circumstances for change?
1. What is it going to take in order for you to change successfully?
Think about what changes you would like to make in your life and what would need to happen in order for that to happen naturally.
2. What are the signs that you need to change your response to old outcomes?
Think about situations where the outcomes cause you to feel dissatisfied, undermined or dis-empowered. Make a list and think about how things will be different when you can change your response in spite of their existence.
3. What are the reasons you need to change and how can they help you move towards your goal/outcome or event?
It’s good to know why you want the changes you are going to make to help you stay focused on achieving your goal/outcome or event. Make a list and keep them to hand for easy reference and a timely reminder.
In creating the circumstances in which change can happen, the client has provided the process with a willingness to succeed and help themselves be more at ease with the idea that change can happen easily and quickly. This always makes for a successful combination of ideas for trying out unilaterally as well as helping those that thought change was impossible to engage with the process more peacefully and more in line with an acceptance that change can happen for no (know) good reason – for good.
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Gina Pickersgill is the International Online NLP Specialist at www.justbewell.com