More Self Confidence Video Transcript

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HOW TO HAVE MORE SELF CONFIDENCE

I want to talk to you a little bit about confidence today.

I lot of people come to see me and ask me, can you give me more confidence? Sometimes they want it for a specific reason, like they are going for a job and be interviewed and they want to feel more confidence at the interview. Sometimes they just want to have more confidence in general. The fact that they come in in the first place knowing that they are not confident, means that they must have some comparison. There must be times when they feel more confident, otherwise they wouldn’t know that they weren’t confident.

So the first thing I am going to ask someone when they come to me and ask for more confidence is:

‘Well, where are you confident?’

Sometimes people say to me:

‘I’m just not confident anywhere’.

And really that’s never true, everybody is confident somewhere even if it’s when they are by themselves making a cup of tea. There is always going to be some place in everybody’s life where they feel more confident, because that’s what they are comparing this feeling with.

It’s not about putting on some artificial mask and acting as if you are very confident, or even sounding as if you are very confident. One of my other roles is as a voice coach and people ask me to help them sound more confident. The thing is if you feel just comfortable to be you in any situation, if you are not measuring yourself against something you think you should be, if you are not imagining what other people are seeing, if you are just enjoying the process and being who you are and just being your best, it’s a really good feeling, and the chances are that you are going to come across at your best and your most confident.

So when I’m working with somebody I am looking for the resources that they already have inside, you know that time when they are playing with the kids or showing somebody how to make a cup of English tea, or perhaps there was a time when you weren’t confident about driving but you are now. So I am going to pick up on the resources that they already have, and then teach them how to spread that into other areas of their life, because this isn’t therapy, this is about teaching them about strategies that they are already using in one place, and showing them how to use them in another place so that they can begin just to be more themselves. Just to enjoy it more and to feel really good inside while they do it. Once you get the hang of doing that it’s fantastic, because you can do it everywhere. Once you’ve learned how to do it in one place you can do it everywhere that’s appropriate.

Just one word though that’s probably worth saying, is that some people are really frightened that if they are too confident they may come across as arrogant, and you know this isn’t about becoming arrogant, it‘s not about being so sure of yourself, it’s just about being more you, being comfortable to be you in a given situation and that’s what a session would be about. How to you feel more comfortable and more confident just to do your best and to feel your best and to be more you.

So if you feel you want more help with this then by all means come and see one of us at the Justbewell clinic and we would love to help you.

To visit the relevant page on JustBeWell.com go here More Self Confidence