Scary Pictures

The pictures we make in our heads can take us to some difficult places. Often when I'm working with my private clients I find it takes a while for them to 'get' the idea of altering their pictures (the submodalities). By making some key adjustments (making the pictures bigger, brighter, moving, perhaps with the client in the picture (associated) rather than watching themselves (disassociated) – and much more – all kinds of changes for the better can follow.

Anyway, see what you make of this description:

“I started sweating heavily. I started shaking. I felt myself losing control. I was petrified. Then came the pictures in my head, specific, enormous, terrifying images. Sometimes, with the covers pulled tightly over my head, I would try and hide from the thoughts, Then, sometimes out of bed, almost blind with fear, I tried to run from them. Sometimes, I would stand stock still and imagine I could fight the fear with my bare hands.”

(Marcus Trescothick writing in his autobiography 'Coming Back to Me' http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/nov/25/marcus-trescothick-autobiography)

I believe Marcus has seen a hypnotherapist as a part of his recovery. No doubt a key starting point was making those 'enormous, terrifying images' rather smaller.

Premature Ejaculation

The Squeeze Technique is often recommended as a treatment for premature ejaculation. This technique involves suitable stimulation to the point of ejaculation before stopping, and squeezing the penis until arousal diminishes. This procedure is then repeated.

This frustrating affair is aimed at getting the man to learn how to control his arousal and gain control over his ejaculatory response. It involves an awful lot of masturbation (with, or without, a partner) and takes some time to work, if indeed it works at all.

There is a superior technique that is derived from certain yoga practices that is similar and much more effective. Essentially the man masturbates until the point just before orgasm and then stops. There is no squeezing.

He waits only until the physical need to orgasm subsides by deliberately relaxing the muscles involved in ejaculation. He then starts again to the point just before orgasm. This is repeated as much as possible during each experimental session. Often, in the early stages of experimentation, orgasm will follow a few seconds later in the absence of any ongoing stimulation. This is just fine and is part of the training. You see, the trick here is the begin to learn to separate the orgasm from the muscle contractions of ejaculation. So, if orgasm does occur, it is important not offer any further stimulation, but instead relax the penis and muscles in the perineum (that's the bit between testicles and anus).

At first, during early experiments the typical experience men have is that ejaculation occurs quickly. This is just fine as the response does take a bit of time to develop. Remember, the most important aspect is to relax those crucial muscles during the orgasm.

What starts to develop is the phenomena of the "dry orgasm" and the "multiple orgasm." With sufficient practice, the orgasm can occur with minimal, or even not at all, ejaculation. Invariably, the man will also begin to experience multiple "mini-orgasms" before a full orgasm accompanied by full ejaculation occurs. Even with what appears to be full ejaculation, the sensitisation response in the penis glans that usually prevents further stimulation may not develop and further orgasm with lesser ejaculation is often possible. Without this sensitisation response, the man may feel that whilst he has orgasmed but is not yet "spent".

This, gentlemen, is the aim, and puts you fully in control.

Over Excitability
In any given social group, the least emotionally responsive person who promotes the biggest emotional response from other people will be the most dominant person. Their position is, "I am not excitable. You are."

Meanwhile, the most emotionally responsive person who is least able to promote emotional responses in others will be the least dominant person in the group. Their position is, "I am emotionally excitable. You are not." (Unless they get the sympathy vote, of course).
Often, but by no means always, the person with PE will be the over-excitable one of the group.
Confidence

PE can rapidly affect a man's confidence, but also his level of confidence can rapidly affect his sexual performances. It is a vicious cycle and whilst the biological drive to have sex is ever present, the opportunity for sexual congress can fill him with dread, anxiety and fear.

A lot of confidence comes down to self identity and self-assurance. It is important to explore just how someone imagines themselves to be. Some men will imagine themselves as a sexual failure - and often they did so before they even had any form of sexual experience to prove otherwise. This will often stem from how they saw themselves when they were younger, their perceived place in the social hierarchy amongst their peers and families, and so on.

This place-in-the-social-hierarchy is an important area. In men with either premature ejaculation or psychogenic impotence (as opposed to impotence from a medical disorder) they often are having (or, not having) sex with someone that they view as being more socially dominant, or higher up the social hierarchy than themselves. When people feel intimidated by another person, they rarely perform well, regardless of the situation.

What Therapy Entails
As with any symptom that usually manifests in the body I want you to see a doctor first before any hypnotherapy and NLP sessions.

Any embarrassment at seeking help passes quickly, enabling the work to move onward. What I often examine are issues of identity, emotional control, clearing out mental and emotional baggage and how to gain greater control over your thinking and emotions. Now, it is important to know that you won't neceaasrily be magically cured of your PE - it might well take a bit of time and practice on your own before things start to noticably change. The aim of the session is to get you pointed in the right direction to put you firmly in control.

Slight of Mouth, Barack Obama's speech

Look at the use of language patterns and persuasion in this piece it's

quite awesome!! You also need a very skilled person to deliver it

perfectly!

This is an excerpt from a speech by Senator Barack Obama - New Hampshire

Primary Tuesday, January 8th, 2008 Nashua, New Hampshire

Comments on the persuasive power of this are in (italics).

We've been asked to pause for a reality check. (This is an indirect

suggestion to "pause" i.e., to stop thinking or rationalizing) We've

been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

(:"We" implies a "you and me" thus uniting us. From our detached "pause"

we can look at the concept of false hope.)

But in the unlikely story that is America, ("unlikely" allows us to feel

unique and special as Americans, linking us to the myth of a people who

thrive against all odds) there has never been anything false about hope.

(This is a different use of the words "false" and "hope" and reframes

"false hope" in a new way) For when we have faced down impossible odds

(these impossible odds are unmentioned but assumed and affirms that we

are unique) ; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we

shouldn't try, or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded

with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people.

Yes we can.

(A call to action but even more; a call to rebellion against those who

try to discourage us.)

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the

destiny of a nation.

(Evocation of "destiny"; that we are the central figures around whom

great things can occur.)

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail

toward freedom through the darkest of nights.

(Offering anecdotal evidence to support our rebellion against any

oppressor.)

Yes we can.

(Repetition. Hammer it into the mind and link it with powerful and

positive emotions.)

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and

pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness. (More

strong images of perseverance against security and reason.)

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the

ballot; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King

who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

(Wow! This one is POWERFUL! Without stating who the "King" is it

providing clues of "mountaintop" and "the Promised Land" and he allows

us to connect the dots on our own. This makes us to feel as if we have

knowledge of an inner secret.)

Yes we can to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and

prosperity. Yes we can heal this nation. Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can. (Powerful use of repetition.)

And so tomorrow, as we take this campaign South and West; (in itself

this brings people back to earth... to the reality of the campaign. This

would be bad if it were not for the preceding emotional high we've been

brought to) as we learn that the struggles of the textile worker in

Spartanburg are not so different than the plight of the dishwasher in

Las Vegas; that the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling

school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the

streets of LA; (This creates the feeling of bonding between different

people. A feeling that we are not so different from one another.) we

will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are

not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are

one nation; and together, (Providing three ways of saying "we are one

people" and thus clobbering us with repetition again) we will begin the

next great chapter in America's story with three words that will ring

from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea ("coast to coast; from sea

to shining sea" evokes patriotic memories of the song "God Bless

America" ... all without saying it explicitly!) – Yes. We. Can.

(Yes, we can! There is little more persuasive than a simple phrase

repeated and instilled with emotion. It is the same effect that

Martin Luther King with "I have a dream.")

Bulimia - A special focus

Bulimia, A Clients Story

"I started feeling bad about myself as far back as I can remember. I know there was a time where I was just a happy little kid, but I can't remember what that felt like.

I can remember the first time I did it, it grossed me out, and yet when I'd vomited up all the Christmas dinner I'd had that night I remember saying to myself...."they are all too drunk to notice" Recently a person at work (I don't work now, I couldn’t get out of bed anymore and lost my job) said to me she was thinking of trying it. I said to her in a voice I didn't recognize "You don't want to go there". I felt a shutter going down my body and I knew I was in so far I couldn’t see my way out.

My body was swelling, it seemed heavier than ever, I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to shower because I’d have to touch my body, and I hated how it felt. I was in a physical form that was foreign to me. I hated myself, my family, my life and I couldn’t get it to stop.

I'd never done any drugs, or addictive substances so when I realized this "caught" feeling was an addiction, it not only surprised me, it scared me!

I was foggy in my thinking. I only thought about where, when, how to get free of others so I could. All my thoughts directed me to the images of me running through stores and grabbing food and stuffing my mouth until I was soon after purging! I didn’t care about throwing up anymore, I never felt full, I always felt empty, even the smallest amount of food inside me felt wrong.

After a while I got more focused on my process. Greater planning. I had a lot of stories running in the back ground of the images I was looking at. Mostly food, everything was big images, pizza's so big you could use them for magic carpets! Muffins the size of space ships...then I saw all the foods there, moving towards me as if they were enticing me to grab them ....

Sometimes my parents faces came in over the foods...but seeing my dads sad eyes or moms anger just drove me to get back to what I was happier to view. My next binge

As soon as I opened my exhausted eyes in the morning, the inner commentary began...and never in the way that guy on "What the Bleep Do we Know" would say of "how he liked to create his day," what a joke. My inner voices were reminding me instantly of the dreaded day ahead. Oh there was a little weak one there in the back ground...suggesting in a rather high pitch "maybe things will be better today", but I squashed that one so fast with the images of last nights binge, the smell of vomit still in my hair, the taste and feel of the acid in my mouth...and all I wanted was last nights left overs to fill the aching sinking feeling inside me.

I knew I was in trouble, I couldn't even think of the last real conversation I'd had with anyone, heck I couldn't even remember clearly the details of yesterday! My parents were so frustrated with me and so afraid of what I was doing and doing to myself, they started hiding food, watching me, like I was a caged animal, and yet I had no where else to go.

Taking the pills seemed a logical way out so I did. Waking up in the hospital and monitored for a week was heaven, I couldn't do anything, and food was monitored for me. Slowly I felt better, but at the end of the week they discharged me and I knew that last day all I was thinking about was where to get the food to binge again. It was my only thought. They set me up with a psychiatrist. It was ok however, talking about it over and over again just made me want to keep doing it and I did, I was right back into it and everyone was so angry with me.

It's like talking to an alcoholic about all his binges - all I could think of coming out of each session was where I was going to get the food. It helped a little...but the 45 minutes a week really I was still sinking back into my darkening world, and I knew it. They gave me medications, that just made my head even fuzzier and I felt almost numb.

My dad found JBW on the web site and suggested I check it out. I called, and then called back and finally decided to take a chance on Kathy because I honestly didn't know what else to do.

And I know today, you probably don't realize you've given me back my life and me and I'm so grateful! Thank you, from everything I am."



It works, NLP is brilliant at unpacking addictive behaviors and restoring "normal" quickly without reviewing the endless past looking for the culprit. Mothers often feel it's their fault, fathers are desperate, as the family slowly comes unraveled...so when they see the resultant changes their daughters (and yes, some sons), go through...there can sometimes be a little residual - "hey what happened here? I thought this was really hard for you to stop?"

Don't be fooled, it was about the hardest thing your daughter will do and when she does it for herself it becomes the cornerstone of her strength and personal power as she regains her life again.

NLP can offer up the solution, the transformation and the life skills to maintain herself the rest of her life, and that’s all we do for her…teach her how to do it for herself.

My program is a full eight sessions with three months following of support via Email, Phone & SKYPE to ensure she breaks forever with the inner addictive patterns and knows just how to help herself if life gets too overwhelming.

Kathy Welter Nichols.
Just Be Well-Team Canada